How I look when I’m confused.
I could probably write a novel on my current situation, but I’m going with the cliff notes version since it’s 1:30am and I need to sleep before going in tomorrow.
I’m chalking this up to my personality and my propensity towards avoiding conflict and always trying to be the negotiator. I know I may have contributed a little bit to the current conflict, but I essentially just took a bullet to the chest for everyone currently involved. Maybe this is weakness on my part because I refused to bring up the underlying issue, but I see it as a strength because it’s a testament to my desire to keep the peace and not throw everyone under the proverbial bus. I would love to have this settled immediately, but I’m holding off since it’s the middle of the night and I don’t wanna wake everyone up (again my personality…..).
For better or worse, I avoid confrontations whether they’re peaceful, civil, or violent. I’m not bringing up the real reasons behind the current situation because of my aforementioned peacekeeping tendencies and also because I don’t want to hurt your feelings and it is not my place to speak on behalf of everyone, even though it would make things much easier for me right now. My honest opinion for why no one wants to bring this up with you is because they honestly don’t care (ironically, you claim to feel the same way). Once you look at the differences, it’s clear why everyone has issues with you. You’re narcissism blinds you. Despite your “acknowledgement and acceptance” of what everyone supposedly thinks of you, you’re oblivious to the fact that what I tell you about watching how you present yourself is actually what EVERYONE is complaining about. I refuse to name names because I know you’ll confront everyone, and while some may think that will finally solve anything, it just goes back to the reality that NOBODY CARES. The way people are dealing with this is by not inviting you to anything. So it falls on me to be the one to inform you of goings on, essentially transferring everyone’s awkwardness to yours truly.
The ultimate solution would be for you to change who you are, and that’s unfortunately something that cannot be done (for a multitude of reasons…). This is not to say that you were just born this way (maybe?), as only you know what you can change. I’m just stating the facts. For the time being, I’m just going to keep my distance and hope the issue can be settled after talking to the parties involved.
None of this will make sense unless you are reading this, which I doubt. Again, maybe it’s weakness on my part for not bringing this to your attention directly, and maybe I’m being selfish/narcissistic myself in thinking I’m on a
better different path, but all I can do now is hope for the best. I have more important things to worry about.
Making me clutch my pearls.
It really does feel like I only go backwards.
That one with the glasses ;)
87) The phrase “They’re in a better place now” always bothers me because it makes me wonder. If everyone is in a “better place” once they die, why isn’t everybody just killing themselves?
Falco Peregrinus turned 3 today!
I guess it’s been 3 years since I’ve started rambling on here. Go me.